To our NMRI family,
We at the National Marshmallow Roasters Institute (NMRI)
have decided to stay open on Thanksgiving Day for the benefit of our customers.
We realize that many of our employees will have to work on Thursday and be away
from their biological families.
Our Board of Directors, however, believes wholeheartedly
that our employees are one big happy family and will want to spend this holiday
at the institute, even more so than with their biological families. Yes, there
are some naysayers who believe people should not have to work on Thanksgiving.
These are society's "Takers". Our NMRI family has no sympathy for
those liberal lunatics who just take, take, take. Our dedicated and happy
employees, after all, know that corporations are people too. And the NMRI is
one of the nicest people you'll ever come to know.
While our board members will be slaving over carving
turkeys, tasting wine, and lugging beach toys down to Malibu Beach outside our
corporate retreat on Thanksgiving, we will propose a toast, during half time of
the Lions game, to our employees who are at the institute helping people like
our customers and the corporation, joyously and with a smile on their faces.
Thank you to our employees, and we do so wish we could be
there with you on Thursday. But, alas, we must slave away with our biological
families.
Sincerely,
Jerry Grinstead
President and Director of Unpaid Social Liaisons
National Marshmallow Roasters Institute
