So GM and Ford and AIG and Goldman Sachs were good enough for a billions-of-dollars bailout, but not Hostess? You've got to be yanking my Ding-Dong! Where is the hue? Where is the cry? Where is Bain Capital to take over and save the iconic American business of Hostess Brands?
I can only ask, "What's next?" No more McDonald's? Marshmallow Fluff? No more Kleenex? Campfire Marshmallows? No more GM and Ford? Where, oh where is our Twinkies Bailout?
I urge my congressman-elect, Ami Bera (D) California's 3rd congressional district, to make it his Priority-Number-One to put forth a bill to bring back our Twinkies, our Suzy Q's, our Fruit Pies for God's sake!
It just ain't America if it can no longer be deep-fried at your State Fair! As a veteran, I think I speak for all those soldiers who will no longer be able to enjoy a Ho-Ho in the barracks. Take away our pay; take us away from our families when we go overseas; take away our body armor! But, please do not emasculate us any further by removing our Ding-Dongs!
Ho-Hos and Ding-Dongs go together like GI's and strip clubs; like Dick Cheney and shotguns; like Hostess Wonder Bread and Oscar Mayer Bologna.
President and Director of Unpaid Social Liaisons
National Marshmallow Roasters Institute